Our feelings and attitudes have an enormous impact on our ability to achieve’happily ever after.’ Are feelings and attitudes the same or different? Does one cause the other to happen? Which one has more power over how exactly we respond? Does anyone experiencing them have any choice in the problem? What if they are in conflict?
Feelings are what they are. We can’t force them. You fall madly head over heels in love with someone or you don’t.’You are able to lead a horse to water however, you can’t make him drink’comes to mind as I try to describe feelings. There’s no magical way to change how exactly we feel. Our feelings aren’t right or wrong, they only exist. Feelings are extremely powerful and definitely have a get a grip on over how exactly we make choices and how exactly we move through life. Think about the money, time, and focus we put in trying to feel well and avoiding feeling bad. It goes against human nature to want to feel bad.
Feelings are located in emotions. Emotions result from the heart. Therefore, I don’t think we are able to change them from inside our logical minds. If your girlfriend leaves you, then you definitely feel hurt Attitude Images. You cannot be likely to simply stop feeling hurt. You’ll feel some level of sadness before you have finished feeling sad. It is possible to distract yourself for awhile, however the feelings will just lay dormant before you allow them time to fully run their course. There’s nothing wrong with planning to distract yourself from the bad feelings of missing your girlfriend, but it’ll decrease the process. There are constructive things you can do to help the processing of one’s feelings. Regardless of how you handle your feelings, you’re planning to feel that which you feel until it works it’s way during your heart. You might always miss her and feel a small tug at your heart once you think back, however the overwhelming sadness will eventually pass. It always does. That’s why they say’time heals all wounds.’ You can’t maintain anyone feeling indefinitely. Emotions by nature are shifting and uncontrollable. They just are what they are.
What about our attitudes? A complete multi-million dollar industry has been built around the energy of a confident attitude. A wouldn’t have survived and thrived since it has if it wasn’t a valid and real concept. Our attitudes are rooted in our belief systems. Our belief systems are chosen by our logical minds. Therefore, it’s possible to create a conscious decision to change it. Our minds have complete and total control over what we believe. I don’t think I need to bore you with another longwinded speech concerning the powers of a confident attitude. If you’ve ever used it, then you definitely have proven for yourself that it’s possible to produce an inside adjustment regarding your attitude.
So, which is stronger? Which includes more influence over our choices and behaviors? Does one overpower the other? Let’s say that you will find yourself falling madly head over heals in love with someone. That’s a feeling, an emotion. It originates from your heart. However, at the same time, you are entertaining an extremely pessimistic attitude towards love and relationships in general. The attitude originates from your mind. That’ll win out, the feelings of falling in love or the dark attitude? It’s hard to say. If you change your attitude, then a feelings of being in love can grow and perhaps develop into a wonderful supply of joy for you. If you hold on tightly to your attitude, then eventually it’ll wear on the loving feelings and you will eventually stop loving that other person. Imagine if the feelings of love were so amazingly powerful, they caused the attitude to change and your core belief system about love and relationships changed too? Your feelings will surely have an impact on your attitude, but more often than not, your attitude wins.
Your attitude is no more powerful because it’s more important than your feelings. It’s more powerful because it’s more stubborn than your feelings. Let’s look again at our example where the feelings are positive and the attitude is negative. We’ve seen people fall madly in love with someone who loved them in return. These same people had bad attitudes about love and relationships in general. Their feelings were unable to overpower their attitude. They believe’it’s never going to work out anyway’and create a self-fulfilling prophecy. By not believing in love, they destroy their good relationship and then feel hurt by the failed relationship. Their minds take that as evidence to help continue with the negative attitude regarding love. The main reason the attitude wins the battle more often then our feelings is really because feelings are ever-changing and flexible while attitudes are often locked into place and become an unmovable force.
Imagine if the feelings were bad and the attitude was good? If you felt afraid that you may be rejected by the opposite sex, but you’d a confident attitude towards love generally speaking because you’d had’happily ever after’role modeled for you as a young child, then you could choose to keep moving forward despite your feelings of fear. Your attitude would win out over your feelings once again.
If your feelings and attitudes match, then you definitely have an interior balance and harmony within yourself. Isn’t this the age-old battle between heart and head? Attitude originates from your mind and feelings result from your heart. When the two agree you have the ability to focus and move ahead with confidence. When the two are at war you’ve to determine which is right… the heart’s feelings or the head’s attitude? Perhaps in sitting quietly and looking inward at our feelings and attitudes from the detached perspective, we are able to evaluate and chose for ourselves on a case-by-case basis which one should lead us.